For what might be the first time all summer I have the house to myself. I'm sure within the next forty-five minutes (hell, who am I kidding, half an hour) my family will come crashing through the door, as quiet and peaceful as a herd of stomping elephants. In other words, the clock is ticking.
I find my love of tonight's solitude fairly amusing, actually. I mean, as a lifeguard I don't exactly have the problem of never having a moment to myself. Generally I have at least three hours of my shift to simply stare into space and reflect on anything that comes to mind. Something about being truly alone, though, is a bit refreshing.
Yesterday I went searching for just a plain old journal. I haven't kept a hand-written journal in years and lately I've just been yearning to go back to the basics of simple pen and paper. However, basic was not the word I'd use to describe the selection I had before me at the local Barnes & Noble. Everything was plastered with hearts, cats, or sparkles. There was one very nice little book that Steph described as looking like a Persian carpet, but alas, it had no lines.
I suppose the reason I'm basking in the quiet of my house and writing about how I've been wishing for another journal is that I feel right now like I'm in the middle of something big. Or maybe the beginning. I don't know, really. I can't put my finger on it but I feel this summer older than I've ever felt before. I have a greater sense of who I am than I've ever had before, but I've never been this unsure of myself, either. Does that sound crazy?
Ugh, I just heard a car door slam.
Maybe it's better this way. I'm not really making much sense and my parents are in the background fighting about the power-washer. The details are sketchy...
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I saved a life today. No, not while lifeguarding, though that is what I would assume if I weren't me, but instead while driving home. There was this poor, pitiful creature in the middle of the road that looked totally terrified as cars whizzed by him, barely avoiding his body. My heart went out to the little thing and I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and made a daring rescue. I am happy to report that Frank the turtle has been relocated to my backyard where no sedan, bike or SUV can harm him. The only downside is that my golden retriever is sort of wary of Frank and jumps back a few feet whenever he moves.
Also, after work and the daring rescue of Frank, I came home and sat down by the computer to catch up on my mail and the New York Times. My mom called me into the kitchen, though, saying she had to have a talk with me. Did you ever notice that just by adding the word "a" in front of it the word "talk" becomes a much darker thing? In other words, "to talk" is fine but "to have *a* talk" usually implies that you'll be having A Discussion, A Chat, or An All Out Screaming Match.
Anyway, I walked into the kitchen expecting to be yelled at for something along the lines of my messy room or running over the grass on the side of the driveway. Instead, my mom told me this:
Mom: Petey wanted me to have a word with you about calling me Mommy. Me: (thinking) WTF? Mom: He says when you talk to him and you referance me you don't say Mom you say Mommy and he's tired of being treated like a baby. He said "For God's sake sometimes I call you Mother I'm not a little kid anymore." Me: I suppose he doesn't want me to call him Petey anymore, either. Mom: Well, his friends usually call him Pete... Me: Right.
Apparently with the big 1-0 approaching my brother has become quite mature. I guess I didn't get the memo.
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| Date: | 2005-06-22 00:43 |
| Subject: | Some Strange Things |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | sleepy | | Music: | Diana Krall |
Some Strange Things
- Today my dad’s friend came over and brought him a “really great book” he’d just finished. The funny thing was that the book was an Illustrated Classic of some sort, in other words, a children’s novel with large print and pictures. He had no idea why we all found this so funny and left it for Dad to peruse. I’ve dubbed it his summer reading.
- The washing machine refused to unlock its door today. It promised me it was all done washing my clothes (not that it talked or anything, but when an arrow is pointing to the word “off” one can only assume it’s, oh, I don’t know…off), but when the time came for the damn thing to relinquish my laundered clothing my attempts at switching said laundry from washer to dryer were denied. I finally had to crawl back into the dusty space between the wall and washing machine and unplug the thing.
- In yoga today Steph’s darling little sister chucked a towel at my head while we were meditating. Since I’m very mature and above such childish actions I waited for the instructor’s head to be turned before tossing the towel back in her general direction. All out war ensued.
- I’ve come to the sad realization that I rarely interact with males outside of my family unless they work with me. I can only hope that this will not be a lifetime trend…
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I've been back at work for a while now and all I can say is that I must have blocked out a lot of the more scarring memories of last summer. I vaguely recall the intense boredom, sweating and the occasional sunburn, but my memory had been wiped of anything to do with skanky 13-year-olds that make me want to hurl.
Emphasis on *had*.
Today I worked an eight-grade graduation party at the club where I lifeguard.
(An aside, what is the big hoopla about graduating eighth grade, it’s not like you won’t see everybody three months later in high school?)
My first impression when I saw the swarm of pubescent boys and girls heading my way was, “I am so screwed.” Later I discovered that first impressions are generally correct as I watched in awe as four bikini-clad eighth graders shook their groove things to the sweet crooning of Beyonce Knowles. The rest of their classmates watched on as well, some with obvious envy (a green-nailed brat tried to start up her own little side show, but to no avail) while others grimaced and swam on. I made gestures mimicking vomiting in the pursuit of expressing my inner feelings. It’s very healthy to do so, I’m told-not vomit, express one's feelings.
Other news in the work world involves incessant phone calls from my quasi-boss which have the girls thinking I may be the object of his affections (um…no), the rehiring of just about everybody who swore they would never, ever return to spend another summer there, the taking away of our chairs in an attempt to make us seem “more professional” and mayhem in general.
Another remnant of last summer’s work experience is that Meggie is once again using her time on the stand (or just standing now, since our chairs were so rudely stolen) to make up an elaborate fantasy life…for me. Last summer I was dating a southern senator’s son and constantly embarrassing myself as I entered into catastrophe after catastrophe at his parents’ house. Now, however, Preston Brooks and I are taking the break as I travel the Italian countryside and go gallivanting around with handsome Australian strangers and Stephania. She keeps getting mad at me for giving her my opinion on these fantasies, forcing me to remind her that it might be her daydream but it’s my fictional life.
Also, I was tagged by serenitysea.
*List your current six favorite songs, then pick six other people that have to do the same.*
The Blower’s Daughter – Damien Rice Linger – The Cranberries La Belle Et Le Bad Boy – MC Solaar Annie Waits – Ben Folds New York, New York – Ryan Adams
I’m not tagging anybody since I’m more of a lurker in other people’s journals, but Meg, I’d like to see Vallombrosa feature this.
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Today was my un-birthday. I turned 19 back in April but claimed tonight as my own and the girls and I went out for some great New Jersey pizza. It felt great to order a plain pie and not have to explain that no, I don't want something with cherries, apples or blueberries and could I please just have a cheese pizza. I suppose if I was from a region of a country where something was defined so oddly I would be confused, too, but hey, I'm doing a service by exposing the Southerners to Northern jargon. They just don't know it.
I got some very nice presents even though it wasn't really my birthday (which I suppose shouldn't matter since Meg through me a surprise party last year over Memorial Day Weekend which means I technically celebrated with my N.J. friends a week earlier than I did last year). I received a very pretty bracelet and a pair of earrings from Steph and Jenna respectively and Starbucks cards from Meggie and Peggy. Meggie's card for 100,000 dollars...oh wait, just kidding, she's written 20 dollars underneath the first amount (damn) came with a very nice note that I will definitely be putting away to read again in another five or ten years. Although maybe I shouldn't think ahead so much seeing as how I've proven to be one of the people least receptive to change that I have ever known.
Tonight was also the first night I realized that this summer is not going to be strange at all. Yes, we're all happy at college and we all miss certain aspects of it (in my case, not being asked to shampoo the carpet), but we're still the same group of friends. Nothing has altered for the worse and it is my belief we've all grown closer. We've grown up some, of course, but we're still as close as ever. I am thrilled by this and just can't get over how lucky I am to have two great groups of friends.
Who knows, maybe I can even stop paying some of them for their friendship in the near future?
In other news, my aunt called today to gush to me about how my cousin Clare likes my sister better than me. I didn't know whether to be insulted or to consider putting myself up for adoption so we wouldn't have to be related anymore and then I realized that since I'm a legal adult and can no longer be adopted by anyone I could only be insulted. The thing is...my cousin Clare is kind of a brat. She's cute and all, most four-year-olds are, but she's a spoiled little thing and kind of scares me. The fact that my aunt wants me to kiss her butt kind of disgust me since the kid is already the ruler of her house.
Now I'm off to read a little bit before bed since I realized today that I have about 20 books I want to read this summer but will probably only get through about half of them. If only my father wasn't threatening to send me to the poor house if I don't work this summer, then I could read every book I've ever bought with every intention of reading and put aside only to rediscover years later. Alas.
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| Date: | 2005-05-16 01:15 |
| Subject: | S4 |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | relaxed |
Today was a really nice day. I spent last night at Stephania's because as we watched "Emma" (I love that movie!) we had mimosas and really, who wants to drive home after spending two glorious hours with a wonderful adaptation of one of Jane Austen's best novels? I mean, it can't be safe to be on the road while recovering from such an intense costume drama.
The next morning Steph's dad asked me if I was too drunk to drive home which would have been awkward if I hadn't seen him dance with his wife after coming home from a wedding once, shortly followed by Kate joining in and the two of them rocking out in the kitchen. The worst part was that I hadn't been drunk so felt the need to explain that we were watching "Emma", what "Emma" was, and wonder why I am so weird and trying to explain Jane Austen to someone who probably doesn't like costume dramas quite as much as I do.
After waking up to the sounds of Barefoot Contessa recipes filtering in from the kitchen I climbed out of bed and had some breafast with Steph's mother and sister and got filled in on all the gossip at my old high school. Apparently I got out just in time because my town's public school is only getting stranger as time goes by.
Actually, I think all the local schools are getting just a teensy bit odder than their usual standard, because Meg's old grammar school (which is private and Catholic), has a nun who apparently is so intent on making sure students on bicycles wear their helmets and stop at stop signs she has taken to riding her bike with them every day. Nuns on bikes enforcing traffic laws is just unbeatable.
After a really great bagel and Starbucks, Steph and I traveled to the pre-teen capital of the world (also known as the mall) and I got some pretty new blush from Sephora that I had been eying for the past couple months. Later we both got a chance to catch up with Meg, who I really missed. Spring break was two months ago and only a week at that, so I'm really looking forward to having a summer to spend with our little group. I really missed my friends while I was at school. I'm glad I'm not one of those people who made friends at college and drifted away from their old ones. I feel like summer is three months too long if you're not enjoying the people around you.
Okay, back to online window shopping.
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I have finished my freshman year at college. I’m a sophomore. It’s weird stuff, really. I still remember hating college and wishing to come back to community school, thinking that I would never like it there as much as I liked being at home. Obviously I was naive and stupid, because I did learn to love Wake, it just took some time. Ah, patience is not one of my virtues.
Packing up the room was hard. Every day the walls got a little more egg-shell white as posters came down and bedding was packed up and placed in storage. The drawers were emptied and I discovered articles of clothing I hadn’t even noticed were missing, as well as my large pile of letters that built steadily throughout the year. I reread some of the letters and just felt really thankful. I am so lucky to have friends who would forego email and take time from their days to give me these lasting impressions of them. I want to do something special with all of them, but maybe I’ll wait and see how many more I have after another three years go by.
A side note since I'm talking about last impressions:
I was cleaning out my room last night and found a note from Meggie that she smuggled to me when she was grounded for that really long period of time and not allowed communication with the oustide world. She talks about how she's being well fed, and no, she hasn't gone insane yet. I think this is from the days when we honestly considered making a pully system to lift us into her room. I had almost forgotten.
Back to your regularly scheduled journaling:
After we got the room packed up and put away I went home with my roommate for a few days. We stopped in Savannah overnight and I fell in love with it. It’s a gorgeous city and has such a historic, artsy quality to it. It’s also near the beach, which obviously raises my esteem for it. And hey, it’s got the bench Forest Gump sat on, so that just makes it so much cooler.
From Savannah Ashley and I headed to her home in southern Georgia. As much as our friends at school worried about their little Yankee friend being shocked to death by the Big Bad Deep South, I really liked it. The people were sweet and Ashley’s friends were great. That’s one thing about living with a social butterfly; you learn to be friends with people you normally would shy away from.
The roundtrip to Ashley’s house was an experience in itself. We had to pack the car until it looked liked a sardine can, complete with a Dave Mathews poster squashed against the window so from the outside it looked like some creepy black-and-white guy was staring you down. We also got chased by a friendly stray dog we had stopped to coo at and had a crane swoop down and come inches from crashing into our windshield. Screaming ensued.
Once in my roommate’s home town things stayed pretty weird, but in a good way. I was baffled by how young people get married and have babies down there. I always thought Ash was crazy for wanting to be a wife straight out of college but now I’ve learned to be thankful she didn’t give up college altogether to be barefoot and pregnant before she even turned twenty. I didn’t actually meet any of these types of people, Ashley’s close friends are a little more ambitions than the rest of their peers, but I was there for many a “guess what happened to so-and-so” recap.
For move details about Sam’s Wild Adventure in the Deep South, meet me at Starbucks.
Also, now that I’m back in New Jersey I have a new love in my life…my iPod. It’s green and shiny and makes me happy. I’m such a sucker for new toys.
Speaking of loves in my life, I had a dream last night about this guy I went to a date function with. I had a really great time with him and he sort of made it seem like he was going to pursue something, but with there being only two weeks left in the school year nothing actually developed. It kind of freaked me out because I don’t know this kid extremely well and here I am dreaming about him, which is sort of stalkerish and odd, even if the dream didn’t really have a point and it wasn’t romantic or anything.
I should keep a dream journal. Except if I did that I’d have no friends because people would discover that I have deep psychological issues. Alas.
One last thing…people not in N.J., come home NOW.
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I would much rather be updating about how my roommate and I got drunk last night after drinking a little too much wine while watching "Steel Magnolias", hand-cuffed ourselves together and walked over to her sorority's halls like that before coming back to our dorm and watching some very interesting videos with our hallmates, but instead I have to try to cram into my head why India has lasted as a democracy when it is obviously unstable and did not meet any of the prerequisites that fat old men sitting alone in their offices have deigned necessary for a country to be, in fact, a democracy.
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I am: 9% Republican. | "You're a complete liberal, utterly without a trace of Republicanism. Your strength is as the strength of ten because your heart is pure. (You hope.)" |
Are You A Republican?
Yeah, well...
Also, finals are killing me not so softly.
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The above title is something my friend Larissa likes to say a lot. I totally sympathize because my life is the definition of awkward. Here are a few, new and fairly recent, reasons why.
-I got a phone call last weekend from a friend of mine who was in Jersey for the weekend celebrating Passover. He wanted to know if radar was illegal in my state. When I didn’t know he got quite upset with me and said that since I lived there I should know such things. -Today I went to a party called “Go to Hell.” My good friend Small Birds wanted to know if I was going and emailed me this:
“Are you going to hell tonight? (_insert fraternity here_, not eternal damnation).”
I told her I was probably going to both.
Another thing about the party (which was in a giant field): there were two cops there who had been paid off not to card people. They got 200 dollars each plus all the food and drink they wanted for their compliance. One of my friend's considered this for a moment before telling me if she were a cop she'd be the most corrupt person ever and would probably take bribes for just about anything. Um...okay. -My roommate and I just got back from a deserted parking lot (notice the time stamp on this thing) where we picked up a friend who had driven their drunk, run out of gas, been unable to get her key out of the ignition, and had passed out on the steering wheel. When she called to ask us what was wrong with her car I said, “So-and-so, is the car in park?” She told me it was. Of course the car was not in park, which was the reason the keys wouldn’t come out of the ignition. Apparently she just thought I was asking if the car was moving. I ended up driving for the first time in North Carolina tonight, sans driver’s license and, unfortunately, a bra.
-We had to get gas to move So-and-so’s car so Roomie and I went to a gas station and filled up a plastic container to bring back to her car. After getting her car working again we drove the poor thing back to the gas station to fill it up. The attendant came on over the speaker and asked, “Which one of you young ladies ran out of gas?” Roomie and I pointed at So-and-so. “Don’t you know, ma’am, that ‘E’ stand for empty, not 'goes everywhere.'”
Hahaha. Silly gas station man.
-Roomie and I just had wings delivered. Afterwards she accused me of being a pig not for eating too much chicken, but for hogging the moist towel-ette.
*
And these are just a few.
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| Date: | 2005-04-23 01:20 |
| Subject: | The Big 1-9 |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | grateful | | Music: | I Hear it's Your Birthday |
I am now officially 19. In fact, I'm going on my second day of 19-ness. I know it's not a big birthday or anything, considering it's just sort of sandwiched between 18 and 21, but it is the last year I'll be a teenager. I mean, next year I'll be downright old. Scary stuff, man, scary stuff...
My birthday was wonderful. I slept in, finished some homework that I had due at one, got my friend Courtney to drop it off for me and went to lunch with Taylor instead of physics. It was a fun lunch because today was Campus Day and all the admitted students were walking around with their parents looking embarrassed/confused/like they were trying too hard/dazed. Highly enjoyable. We also had three new basketball recruits come to check out the campus that are all very talented and it would be a huge deal if they signed here. Especially since Chris Paul, the best college point guard in the country, is heading off to the NBA. Stupid pro-basketball with its millions of dollars is stealing our best player.
But I digress. I got a nice package from my mom with a few pairs of cute socks (not Aunt Petunia-esque, I promise), a really pretty pink opal bracelet that my friend Olivia referred to as "Barbie Opals" because they are pink and shiny, a cute bag and a new Lacoste shirt. Really it was way too much since I'm getting an ipod when I get home and all I have to contribute is a gift certificate my uncle gave me for Christmas. I love my parents.
I got tons of great greetings, too. My pledge mom sent me a card with singing pigs, I was honored muchly in away messages and Meg sent me a Scooby Doo card (with a maze I am required to complete, I might add). I heard from Steph and Jenna, too, which was also quite nice. Meg and I also discussed the fact that at the annual five mile race we usually run I might just die. I am so out of shape, guys.
For dinner Taylor made reservations at Macaroni Grill and the 20 of us in the party had a great time. Drawing on the table cloths was a blast. I feel that all restaurants should provide college-aged kids with crayons and allow themselves to draw while waiting for dinner. Why should placemat art be simply for young children? I mean, it's obviously that our "art" is superior so why is it suppressed?
I know, deep.
Another exciting thing is that Taylor gave me "Prep" by Curtis Sittenfield, which I have been really wanting to read. She also got me Godiva chocolate which will most definitely take about five minutes off my race time. She also went through quite a lot of trouble to get the book, because the dumbass at the bookstore had "never heard of it." If you work at a bookstore I feel like you should be able to identify books like "Prep" that have spent weeks on the best seller list and that you have probably rung up countless times. When Taylor told them she thought it was by a girl whose name started with a "C" they told her she was wrong, Curtis Sittenfield was a guy and that's why they couldn't figure out what she was talking about.
Dude...Curtis is a girl. She's got a strange name, but she's female none the less.
Book store employees with no knowledge of books really kills me.
After dinner Kate and Theresa told me I had a surprise coming because they had baked for me. I had some alarm at that because when Theresa baked Taylor's cake back in September it was a tad bit hard as a rock. Luckily they had purchased a cookie cake, for which I thanked them profusely. My roommate presented me with very pretty earrings and then put two birthday hats on her head and posed for a roomie picture. What can I say, we need help. Carolyn gave me a free drink coupon to Starbucks, something I always enjoy, and Maggie and Steadman hinted at something which I have a feeling will me monogrammed. I don't know why, but I'm getting that vibe.
It was a beautiful day today, too. It was in the 80s and nice and sunny. Over all it was a great birthday and I can't complain. There was a failed frat party involved but since it only took me about half an hour to figure out I didn't want to be there I count it as no great loss.
Now I just need to spend the rest of my weekend gearing up for...dun dun dun...finals. Eep.
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This is the third update I have begun in as many weeks. Honestly I have had an update almost completed multiple times and have closed them all out accidentally. I have finally learned my lesson, though, and will be writing this entry in Word.
Where to begin? The last two times I started talking about a.) my semi-formal, which involved a date with my gay friend and involved “shagging” (the dance, people!) and lots of begging to be left alone because holy stilettos “I CAN’T DANCE LIKE THAT” and b.) Italian Wedding, a party where everybody dresses as if they were going to the trashiest guido wedding under the sun. In the case of the latter, fishnets were all but mandatory and at the “bridal shower” two frat boys stripped down to their boxer-briefs when the stripper that was hired got lost.
My life is comprised of awkward moments. But damn I love them so.
Anyway, my freshman year here is winding down and I don’t know how I feel about it. On the one hand I can’t wait to spend time at home again, on the other…I don’t want to leave.
I know, crazy, right?
Leaving my friends here will be sad. Luckily we’ll all be back here at the end of August, but I’m still sad about it. It boggles my mind. Who ever thought there would come a day when I would love college. I feel stupid for being so miserable first semester, but at the same time I don’t know if I’d change anything. I needed to grow up and learn that “the rest of my life” doesn’t have to be lonely and scary. I needed to learn that the people who love you won’t ever be gone from your life and that things don’t change as much as one might think. It was a good lesson. Just don’t expect me to keep from sobbing when I graduate three years from now. It’ll be Emotional Trainwreck—Part II.
I’ve recently discovered that I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve. I think I’ve made it clear that my friends are my world, so it shouldn’t be that surprising that I had a tough first semester but a great second. I always wanted to think of myself as subtle but in truth I’m as subtle as a sledgehammer. I’ve been called sarcastic or “indirect” but hell, if I showed how much I cared about my friends I’d probably be put in a padded room somewhere. Shh, don’t tell.
Finally, now that all these silly emotions have been released, I can move on and dish out the good stuff.
Good Stuff
1. Guess where I’m going after finals. Go on, guess. Nope, not post exams in Myrtle Beach. Not straight back to New Jersey.
I’m going to a little town so far south in Georgia it might as well be Florida. It’s where my roommate is from and I’m going home with her when we both finish up here. We’ll stop in Savannah overnight before continuing on to a place so Southern even some of my Southern friends are wary of it. And since the roomie and I are magnets when it comes to all things sketchy (i.e. drunk grocery shopping), we are bound to have fun. Or at least have some good stories by the end of the trip.
2. I finally have a phone again after a week without it. It’s my little sister’s friend’s old one, and though it is almost exactly like my old one, it is different in the respect that it has a pink cover on it. Ah well, it’s a phone.
3. My birthday is coming.
4. It has been in the 80s every day so far this week. Thank you, weather gods.
5. One of my friends from South Carolina is going to be living in NYC this summer for an internship and when we asked her where she was living she replied, “Green-wich Village.” We corrected the poor girl, of course, but she’ll never live it down.
6. My school’s new SAT average came out and if I had been born a year later I definitely would never have gotten in here.
And now some announcements:
Meggie: Call me back you freak or I will drive up to UVA and tell all your friends that you secretly adore the color pink and all your life you’ve wanted to dye your hair blonde. Also, throw us all a bone and update.
Al: Please call me back, love. I miss you and while I expected you too tell me you couldn’t talk, I am always here if you need me.
Becky: Days later after you typing internet slang at me only a hacker would know I found myself thinking, “WTF?”
And I’m done now.
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| Date: | 2005-03-27 23:59 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | tired |
For intense verbosity and many mentions of me, click here.
If you don't want to read that, or have done so and recently returned to continue with your regularly scheduled journaler, read on.
I just got back from spending the weekend in Richmond. I'm not going to recap the entire weekend right now, though I might write more later, but instead would like to write down some memorable quotes.
Random Frat Guy: Are you going to the Sigma Alpha Epsilon party tomorrow? Madeline: They have to go back to Wake Forest. Random Frat Guy: You're so lying. Go jump in the lake.
Lauren: If that girl didn't have clothes on she'd currently be getting violently &*^%ed in the ass.
Me (looking at many bare-breasted frat boys): Finally, the essence of fraternities is revealed...homo-eroticism.
Kevin (after 10 hours of being dragged around from shop to shop): Mom, is this all you do every time you visit Madeline? Go shopping? My aunt: Um...yeah.
Waitress at Japanese Restaurant: Do you want a go-box? My Uncle: No. Waitress (coming back after five minutes): Do you want a go-box? Some people bring back for dog? My Uncle: No. Waitress (another five minutes later): You sure you don't want a go box? My Uncle: Yes. I'm sure. (The waitress leaves after giving my uncle the check and a pen.) Should we steal this? Me: Only if you put it in a go box. My Uncle (to the waitress upon her return): Can I have a to go box?
And if you don't think we put that pen in there and stole it you don't me very well.
My Uncle (to my cousin): Kevin, you breathe too loud.
Waitress at Fancy Dancy Restaurant (to me): Miss, would you like champagne? Kevin: Nope, she's under-aged. The Entire Table (which consisted of my cousins Madeline and Clare and two sets of aunts and uncles): Kevin!
Also, I don't know if I'm supposed to put the action before or after the colon. Since I don't care enough to check right now, you 'll just have to take it or leave it.
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| Date: | 2005-03-22 10:59 |
| Subject: | In Memoriam |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | depressed | | Music: | Wind Beneath My Wings |
Nobody expected it. He was so vivacious, so colorful, so fishy...
But no more.
Early this morning at about about 12:20 a.m. Harmony "Fish" the fish died of constipation.
Immediately after finishing up a group meeting in the library I received a frantic IM from my roommate reporting that our fish had lost all its color and was repeatedly sinking to the bottom of its bowl. It's breathing was labored and it looked as if he was...dying.
I booked it back to the dorm, calling my roommate on my cell as I walked. I tried to comfort Ashley, but she soon passed off the phone to our friend Taylor who told me that Fish wasn't looking too good and I should hurry if I wanted to be there for the end. I then heard her tell the fish, "Don't worry, Mommy's coming!"
Upon entering my room I found a crowd gathered around our refrigerator, upon which sat Harmony. The moment I saw him I knew things were bad. He was white as a ghost and laying on his side, his poor little mouth gulping at something only he could see. Perhaps he was telling me not worry, that he was ready to go to that big pond in the sky. I'll never know.
"Fish, don't leave us!" I cried.
Ashley did some research on the internet and found out that our poor fish was probably suffering from a disease in which his swim bladder could no longer allow him to float because of over-eating. Of course we felt guilty since we are the ones responsible for his well-being. We struck out on a quest to nurse the fish back to health.
First we salted Fish's water since this is a trick my mother swears by. When that didn't work, we dumped out some of his water so he wouldn't have to travel as far for air from the surface. This seemed to help a little bit but still Fish was lethargic and prone to plopping on his side.
The next thing the website that we were taking orders from told us to do was to try to feed the fish some peas. Ashley and I ran to the sundry where we bought a can of peas and tried to make Harmony eat by sticking the peas on to toothpicks and skimming them appetizingly along the surface of the water. Apparently this was supposed to tempt him because of his innate hunting instinct.
We thought he'd pull through. His color was coming back, he was a bit more active and our hopes were high.
Too high, in fact.
Upon noticing that fish was no longer moving and had taken on a decidedly deceased sort of posture Ashley and I admitted that Harmony's beautiful life was at an end. We brought him to the bathroom and gave him a five flush salute, leaving his now empty bowl on the window-sill as a testimony of his all too short life.
Fish, also called "Harm" by my roomie, was a good fish. He entertained us with his crazy antics and we loved him dearly. I will miss watching the little guy dart around his bowl as if he was chasing something only he could see.
Perhaps he was chasing some unattainable dream. Some huge rice-paddie in the sky.
Well Fish, I hope that wherever you are the water is a nice temperature, the food is plentiful and unable to constipate you and most of all, that you are still as crazy in death as you were in life.
Also, even though Ashley and I plan on buying a new fish on Thursday (and monitoring his food intake VERY closely), you will never replaced and will swim on forever in our hearts.
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| Date: | 2005-03-21 14:39 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
I updated today but it's Friends Only. Stephania, get yourself an LJ account.
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Since I'm not yet ready to begin reading on the political structure of China I thought I’d update the ol' journal.
I’m back at Wake (why else would I be reading about China?) and doing pretty well. I mean, this is the first time I’ve returned from a vacation sans tears/extreme grief/considering transferring.
A marked improvement, if I do say so myself. I do miss the parents, though. And of course my dear Stephania, who is at home without us.
Moving on. I told some friends here a story my father related to me over break. The thing is, though Catholicism has long been the dominant religion featured in my life (duh, I'm Irish) I've never exactly been deeply religious. My parents never even had me baptized because they wanted me to choose my own religion, or to have a lack thereof, when I was old enough. I went to church at Christmas and for the numerous weddings, funerals and christenings that come hand in hand with an extremely large family, but it was never really for me.
So, it came as quite a shock for me when Dad told me that there had long been rumors floating around in the family that my grandmother had secretly baptized me once she got me alone. Being as I am unable to recall my infancy, I had no idea. I relayed this story to my friends at lunch (at Wake, though it was relayed back home as well) and we started talking about other Catholic phenomenon.
I launched into another story about how my friend Meg believes she's getting wireless internet from the local Catholic grammar school, located a scant block away from her house and how it is her belief the only reason the school needs it is so that Sister Carol and Sister Margo can IM each other from their respective classrooms.
From there, near-blasphemy ensued.
“What do you their screen names are?” asked my one friend.
A list was compiled.
Possible Screen Names That a Nun Might Choose
xoSoulSisterxo ChastityGurl1 IluvJesus4eva MaryIsMyHomegirl JesusIsMyHomeboy HabitGal
And since I'm probably going to hell, I'll leave off there.
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| Date: | 2005-03-06 01:43 |
| Subject: | Home Again |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | peaceful | | Music: | On and On - Jack Johnson |
Once again I'm back in New Jersey. I've been back only twenty-four hours and already I feel like I've experienced about a gazillion things. You know what that means. Eh, actually you probably don't, but whatev.
It's...list time!
My First Day Home Included:
-My lovely queen-size bed -Waking up disoriented in the middle of the night wondering where my roommate's bunkbed was and why the clock had moved -Coffee made my by mommy ready and waiting for me when I woke up...at eleven -A bagel, an honest to God, northern bagel -Showering without my flipflops -Being told by father, "hey, your collar is up" and having to explain to him that I like to wear it that way and I do so with pride -Discovering my mother not only cleaned my room while I was back at school, but changed all the furniture around as well -Visiting Starbucks and discovering Tom was working there again -Deciding nobody tells me anything--apparently, when you go away to school, you are not privy to informations such as: your grandparents sold their house by the beach, your great-aunt died, your good family friend is pregnant and that Tom is once again working at Starbucks...shame on you all -Getting called out for saying y'all -Having to deal with my friend's obnoxious mother who managed to criticize the fact that I a) joined a sorority b) have made new friends and c) haven't been forced to take out college loans -Remembering why I decided to stay away from said friend's mother -Watching redgem's family make a video in order to tryout for a reality t.v. show and laughing at their silly antics -Watching a documentary on a drag queen -Meeting a french boy who shares my name who told me, "Oh, you have big feet!" when he meant to say, "Oh, you have high heels." -Finding an awesome shade of lipstick that brings me great joy -Discovering that there are indeed some nice things about being away from your family, such as missing out on arguments, screaming and general chaos -Almost getting run over by some stupid driver of an SUV while going around a circle--something only people from Jersey understand -Watching "Laws of Attraction" and praying I look as good as Julianne Moore when I'm her age
Busy day, huh?
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| Date: | 2005-02-22 14:22 |
| Subject: | Sun, I love you... |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | busy | | Music: | Nina Simone |
So it's about 70 degrees in North Carolina. I just knew there was a reason I didn't stay in the North for school and weather was definitely it.
Anyway, it's been awhile since my last update. I've been sick a lot, though, so give me a break. First I had a virus, was better for about a day, then I got the flu and as of right now I have an ear that when the doctor had seen it for about .0122 seconds made her exclaim, "Honey, that's infected!"
Which, ya know, sucks.
Actually, this week sort of sucks. I had a comparative politics midterm yesterday, I've got a physics exam tomorrow (have I begun studying yet? Um...) and a paper due Thursday. Luckily the paper is on "Middlemarch" by George Eliot, which I adore even though it's 840 pages and could probably be used as a weapon if I really needed to use it as such. So yeah, that paper can consider itself Owned.
In sorority news, all is going well. We had our pledge retreat last weekend at a camp near the mountains and it was a ton of fun. We played a giant came of Never Have I Ever (it was all completely sober) that really let me in on the more...intimate details of my new sisters. It was probably the most hysterical thing ever. We also put on a skit that made fun of all the frats and I had to be the really rich southern one just because I was wearing a polo shirt and ralph lauren baseball hat. I would have yelled discrimination except that I had already convinced Carolyn to wear pink striped stockings on her head as a sort of doo rag and really felt like I couldn't complain.
Basically I love the whole sorority thing. I'm sorry if this makes anybody feel like I've "become everyone I hated in high school" or shocked them beyond belief because I was "the last person of the entire graduating class that anybody would ever expect to go greek", but it's true. The girls of KD have given me home a home here at Wake and that's the last time I'm justifying my decision to do this.
In other news, home in ten days! While I'm definitely loving the warm sunshine down here I'm more than ready to get a break from all this stupid work. I had an honest-to-God breakdown earlier this week and had to be snapped out of it by some great friends. Stress = my life. Being sick has only added to my work load and has created in me a long for the dirty Jerz. So kids, get ready because here I come.
Well, I need to clean up a bit before lab at 3:30, boatloads of studying, sisterhood and a mandatory speakout on alcohol awareness (which I am totally aware of, I mean, the roomie and I each had a glass of red wine last night while we watched some Gilmore Girls dvds...). See, aware.
Okay kids, I'm out.
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| Date: | 2005-01-24 21:18 |
| Subject: | Thoughts on Paintpens |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | excited | | Music: | I'm in the library. No music. Sad. |
When I was a child I paint-penned a lot of stuff. It wasn't as messy as actual paint and it was a lot easier on the fine motor skills. My mother would watch as I decorated wooden boxes, plastic picture frames and an abundance of other objects. Good times, good times...
for the past few years I have thought those days to be behind me, especially now that I am a legal adult and in college. Oh, how wrong I was. You see, the thing about joining a sorority is that once you're a pledge, you get lots of gifts, and most of those gifts have been paint-penned.
*A side note: I would usually say "paint-markered" but yesterday my friend Emily told me that "paint-markered" is not a word and that I should always say "paint-penned." I dont' know how I feel about this, but I'm giving it a whirl.*
At this point you might be thinking that the fact that I get tons of paint-penned items (most notably a bin, a small tin bucket filled with candy, a folder, and a picture frame) is sort of lame. I mean, paint-pens are so fifth-grade. However, you might also be thinking back on the days when you too used to paint-pen and remembering those bright pink hearts and lop-sided purple flowers with nostalgia.
In my case, with every gift I got I wanted to paint-pen more and more. I mean, hello, FUN. Finally, a chance has come my way in the guise of my pledge class' newly elected sweet-heart (it's a tradition to vote a guy in with this position, don't ask me why). Our sweetheart, a boy who I love dearly (to the point where I actually gave up playing beer pong to sit with him as he was the sickest I've ever seen anyone in my life) is being surprised tomorrow in one of our cafeterias with almost fifty girls in green jerseys and paint-penned gifts singing the "Hey, Mickey" song. His name will obviously take the place of "Mickey" because his name is not, in fact, Mickey.
So tonight, after I am done working on my essay about Ivan the Terrible, I will be paint-penning.
Admit it, you're jealous.
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| Date: | 2005-01-23 01:49 |
| Subject: | Gasp! An update. |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | complacent | | Music: | Jimmy Buffet |
Hold your collective cries of disbelief. I realize updates are rare, but I don't want anybody going into shock on account of little old me.
Well, I've been back in North Caroline three weeks and all I have to say is that second semester is turning out to be great. I have moments where I wish I was home and I definitely will always miss my friends, but I'm happy to be back at school. I love my friends here, they are amazing people and I definitely underestimated them last semester. I didn't give them a chance because I didn't want to.
One bad thing, though. It's snowing at home. A lot. Here...there is ice. I actually slipped on it today and fell on my ass but I was able to grab hold of a friend and bring her down with me. Muah. Luckily I was able to redeem myself by teaching the southerners how to scrape the ice of their windshields. Lo and behold, the northerner knows some shit.
Also, for those of you who did not know it, I am now in a sorority. Yes, it is weird as hell. If you had asked me six months ago if there was the slightest possibility of me going greek I would have laughed at you. Now I'm a Kappa Delta, or KD. Also, I love it. Who am I? In my defense, it is a pretty nice system at my school. There isn't any hazing or sketchiness. The girls are great, the parties are fun and I have met a ton of new people. I also always have something fun to look forward to, whether it be a new stuffed elephant (I have quite the accumulation), a t-shirt or a trip off campus with one of the older girls. Also, next friday is the boys' pledge night. All the girls go around and kiss as many boys as they can (nothing too intense, of course). I'm not sure how I feel about participating but I'm leaning towards having a go at it.
Classes are good. I'm finally in my Studies in Brit. Lit. class. The prof. is kind of strange, but hey, at least he knows his stuff (I cannot say this for Mrs. Evilcenti). There is one problem, though, and that is the fact that the class holds the oddest collection of WF students ever. One girl, my favorite of the oddballs, is definitely OCD or something along those lines. She likes to tap pens together for as long as she possibly can. The girl sitting next to her who I now talk to online just so we can commiserate about this strange class actually went so far as to yank the pen out of her hand. The prof. saw this and told PenJen (her name is Jen, P.S.) that maybe the other girl had a point. PenJen stopped but starting flipping through her notebook in a manner than can only be described as wildly only a few minutes later. The next class she moaned about how it had taken her six hours to write the poem we had been assigned.
Quite frankly, it took *me* ten minutes. Also in the class is a kid who cannot concentrate on a poem's meaning while readint it, a guy who likes to interject his opinion about what a writer might be trying to say (he has been wrong Every Single Time) and a girl with a stick so far up her butt I'm surprised she can walk straight. It's actually sort of hysterical. I was laughing so hard in one class that I had to hide behind the person sitting next to me until I could stop crying.
On another unfortunate note, I went to a date function with a kid I've kind of had something going on with the past semester--nothing serious, just a lot of flirting and hanging out. It was a party thrown by the frat he wants to rush and therefore when he asked me, even though I hate the frat, I felt I had to go so the brothers wouldn't think him anti-social. Just because I don't like this particular frat it didn't mean I could spite a guy who drives me to the airport whenever I need to go home. He was good to me, too. He took me out to dinner, paid for everything and was very attentive. Too attentive. I realized last night I'd come to see him as a brother or a cousin. I don't want to be even the slightest bit intimate with him. I wish I could make myself like him because he is a fabulous person, but I can't.
I can honestly say I've never been the receiver of unwanted attentions from someone as normal as this guy...which is sad, but hey.
Um...what else? Is any of this at all interesting? Feel free to stop reading if you're bored.
Actually, you have no choice because I'm peacin'.
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